Yes, being in a relationship will show you all the issues that you have. But once it comes out that you have issues, they aren’t for your partner to fix, they are for you to fix. Realize you have anger issues? Work it out, don’t take it out in your partner. Realize you have trust issues? Work it out, don’t burden your partner with that. Realize you have insecurities? Work on your self esteem, don’t expect your partner to validate your existence.
Your commitment to your partner is also a commitment to work on yourself. They work on them, you work on you, and you both come together committed to giving your best. And of course, things happen. Sometimes your best also includes mess. But the important thing is to not make it a habit that the person you’re with is someone you use to heal you. That’s not right.
This is a big, giant list of Youtube tutorials that will teach you all the basic life skills you need to know in order to be a functional adult. There are a lot of important skills that aren’t included in this list, but this should be enough of a basic guide to get you started and prevent you from making a total mess of yourself. Happy adulting!
i’ll believe every single post about astrology before i believe anything that comes out of a man’s mouths jot that down cuz that’s gonna be on the final
My aesthetic: when you take off your glasses on a highway and all the lights go soft and smudged, a trail of amber behind you like a quiet afterthought
My aesthetic: keeping my own glasses on so I can see the road and not die
How does someone take more responsibility for their life? I can think of three ways; take responsibility of your space, your body and the emotional well being of those close to you.
Jordan Peterson says to “clean your room.” In his book, “12 Rules for Life” Peterson says, “Set your house in perfect order before you criticize the world” (159). Setting your immediate space into order is one way to take more responsibility for your surroundings. Peterson is saying you have little right to criticize society when your immediate surroundings, “your room,” is in disorder. This idea hits hard. It’s easy to criticize the world at large, but how is your ability to keep your own space out of disorder? What are you doing with your own space that has been given to you? If the answer is a mess then what makes you think you could organize society better than your own room? I’m sure there is a genius out there that could run society perfectly while still having a disorderly room, but I think the point trying to be made here is to start small. What do you do with the space and resources that you have? Do you fold or hang all your clothes or do you leave them on the ground? Do you like all your clothes? Or should you get rid of some of them? Same goes for books, do they lay on the ground or are they put on a nice shelf? Are you interested in all of them or should some of them be gotten rid of? Same with papers, are they scattered everywhere on desks and the floor or are they organized in a cabinet?
The next thing to take responsibility for is your body. Your body is yours to take care of, it’s your job to feed it and exercise it properly. It’s a strange idea to take responsibility for your body, but why not? You’re responsible for what you put in your mouth and the actions you take with your physicality. Exercise (safe exercise) is a form of self-love. Going for a swim, running or playing a team sport is a way to take care of yourself and it shows that you like your body. Moving your body is liking your body. Putting good substances and avoiding bad ones is also liking your body. You’ve only got one body and it’s your job to take care of it. Doctors and nutritionists can help but ultimately it’s up to you. I am sympathetic to people with weight issues or addictions. I think America’s food culture is overall very unhealthy and creates bad habits for people. Obesity is more than a matter of “making the right choices,” it’s an addiction issue, but addictions can be broken and help can be gained. For people who seriously think they have a food problem they can join meeting groups like “Food Addicts Anonymous.”
The third thing to take responsibility for might seem somewhat abstract. Other people’s emotions? That doesn’t seem healthy. That’s not what I’m saying, what I’m saying to be observant to those who are close to you, especially family members. Those you live with need special attention. For example, maybe you pick up that someone in your family needs more appreciation, you could make a concerted to effort to help that person. Looking out for other’s emotional health makes everyone around you happier. Ultimately it’s an individual’s responsibility to look out for their own emotional health but looking out for others can make a big difference. Simple love can smooth out relationship issues. Service and self-sacrifice is important. This could be achieved by doing chores or favors for others. This is also very responsible. As you take more on at your house or the place where your peers exist. Relationships are very important and we are all connected to each other. We need to take responsibility for the affect we have on others. We can have a positive or negative effect on others, why not make it positive?
